Trainder....

So I've not had that much of an experience with 'Tinder', the whole concept kind of freaks me out to be honest, not to mention I have a boyfriend (Sorry lads). Anyway, I was on the train the other day on my way back to Manchester from a weekend at home in Lincolnshire with my crazy family, and this guy sat down opposite me, young fella probably early 20's. So he was sat playing on his phone, as was I. Then all of a sudden he looked up, and looked very startled in my direction. At first I was thinking, fucks sake have I got my shirt on inside out again or have I got kit kat chunky stuck in my teeth. So this guy is still staring at me like I've just told him his trainers are chavvy (which they were but I mean you know I don't like to judge) So I decide to pause my music and ask,

'Everything alright?'

To which he replies, 'I'm just feeling a bit guilty, I think I've just swiped no to you on Tinder. I feel really awkward.'

'Oh well...'

'Like I mean I'm sure you're a really nice girl and everything, but you just didn't look like you would put out, you know?'

At this point I was cringing so much about the fact that obviously this pleb had obviously mistaken me for someone else, who was clearly my doppelganger or long lost twin, but part of me was a little angry for my clone that they/we had been rejected by a complete imbecile.

So I said 'Thing is mate, I'm not even on Tinder, I have a boyfriend so I would get yourself an eye test and probably not be so judgmental, if you want someone to put out, I'd put your phone down and crack on with Pam and her five friends.'

I've never seen someone move to another carriage so fast.

I'm never drinking again, until tomorrow night.

Ain't it funny how when hungover everything in life seems 100x worse than it actually is. I mean I am a pretty slow human in day to day life, but when I'm hungover, it's a complete different kettle of fish. If I manage to drag my sorry ass into the shower it will be guaranteed that I will fall asleep standing up or stand in the shower waiting for the water to turn on all by itself. I also find that I get into a state of over thinking territory, SCARY AND DANGEROUS I KNOW, which is BAD when hanging out of ones anus, as everything seems to be able to make me shed tears of self pity.  It's like a hungover reflection/depression vomit infused symphony of unexplained tears. Send help

A door kinda disaster.

My door has been broken since I moved in so today whilst I was at work the joiner came to fix said broken door. Long story short, he somehow managed to accidentally electrocute himself from the electrics that work my light switch around the top of the door. (I don't know the correct terminology OK? Shoot me) Poor bloke was flung across the room like a ham sarnie and a sack of spuds. Even after been electrocuted he managed to fix my door, what a hero. Meanwhile I'm currently sat in the dark in my bedroom in fear that I'm going to electrocute myself via the light switch. Someone send florence nightingale round cos I need help at my bedside.